*sigh* Because of course.

[dantesspirit]

Backstory- last time we went up, his dad showed us photo albums of *his* side of the family. We asked to borrow them, to make copies of the photos, he said no.

So this weekend the In Laws went up, and 'found' the photo albums and a box of photos in the office closet. I asked the kiddo to get pictures of the oldest for me if they had time (they didn't). And then we find out that the FiL *gave the photos to the InLaws*.



And he wonders why Mark doesn't have (or want) a close relationship with him.

Comments

[tarasacon]

argh. ugh!

[tarasacon]

Are you on good enough terms with the in laws to borrow the photos from them?

[dantesspirit]

We're borrowing them next month when Mark has to work, to scan them.

He has a relatively good, though not particularly close, relationship with his sister. The relationship with his dad, though, if I let him, he'd never contact his dad again and I don't think that's good for any of them.

I told him yesterday, that the next time the InLaws go up, he should consider going with them, just to show support. He got the most 'I don't wanna' look and stubborn set to his jaw that I'd ever seen. But he agreed, he needed to at least keep *some* sort of relationship there.

(He told me on Monday, that his dad once told him that he hated him because he took his mom's love and attention away from him (his dad). I was floored, honestly. I mean, I didn't have a close relationship with my dad, but damn, it was never *that* fractured. He also wasn't there for much of his sister's teen years, so deeply entrenched is the *idea* that their dad treated her better than him, but honestly, given a few things the SiL had told me over the years, I don't think that's necessarily true, though, they do seem to have a slightly better relationship.)

[tarasacon]

yeesh.

yeah, family can be complicated, and, for me, at least, my Younger Self’s Perception is hard to shift.

[dantesspirit]

Definitely, and unfortunately, his dad really hasn't done a whole lot to shift that perception either.