PSA to US people

Jan. 7th, 2026 13:06
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[personal profile] rydra_wong
As well as Venezuela, I think you might want to start phoning your representatives and screaming about how very much you do not think the US should invade and occupy Greenland.

I don't know how it's being reported on in the US, but it's looking extremely imminent over here:

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/jan/06/trump-greenland-control-us-military
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2026/jan/07/france-and-allies-discuss-possible-response-to-donald-trump-us-invasion-of-greenland
https://news.sky.com/story/trump-is-likely-gambling-he-could-get-away-with-greenland-grab-as-nato-needs-us-more-than-he-needs-it-13491116
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Posted by Guest Reviewer

A-

Love at First Sighting

by Mallory Marlowe
August 12, 2025 · Berkley
Contemporary RomanceFantasy/Fairy Tale RomanceParanormalRomance

This guest review comes from Lisa! A longtime romance aficionado and frequent commenter to SBTB, Lisa is a queer Latine critic with a sharp tongue and lots of opinions. She frequently reviews at All About Romance and Women Write About Comics, where she’s on staff, and you can catch her at _@‌thatbouviergirl on Twitter. There, she shares good reviews, bracing industry opinions and thoughtful commentary when she’s not on her grind looking for the next good freelance job.

Cheerfully fun but also warmly heartfelt, Love at First Sighting is a supernatural delight that’s awash with that most alien of pursuits — finding romance. Loaded with absolutely delightful characters and a fun premise, my X-Files-loving heart sang as I read my way through it.

El Martin is a social media influencer who ought to have the whole world at her fingertips, but instead she feels completely unfulfilled by her avocation. She grew up as a child beauty pageant contestant and so much of her life has been based on surface appearances. By happenstance one night, she captures footage of what appears to be an alien sighting on her phone. El is exhilarated – finally, something interesting has happened to her! But now she has to deal with the government being in her business — specifically a very cute agent.

Agent Carter Brody, too, is dissatisfied with his career. He wants to do what his own dad did – investigate paranormal activity. Instead, he’s in the Private Intelligence Sector. He goes through mountains of online videos looking for genuine sightings — and it looks like El’s experienced one. He would know – this is what happened when his dad died fifteen years back.

Assigned to El’s case, he finds himself drawn deeper into her world. Brody is immediately arrested by El’s fearlessness, and love begins to bloom between them. But they have a big mystery to solve — is it really a UFO? Or is something else playing tricks on them?

Think The X-Files with a skosh of Men in Black – and plenty of romance – and you’ll get Love at First Sighting. It’s a story about figuring out who you are at core – in El’s case, who she is when she’s not using her phone and in Carter’s case, who he is beyond his position in intelligence.

The romance is delightful – Carter is a pure cinnamon roll and a good guy. El is likeable, too, and aware that her quarter life crisis is a big signal that she needs to start doing something fresh with her life. I wanted to see them get together, and I wanted to watch them build something important in the UFO-hunting world together. He falls first, and, man – again, Carter is just the best hero. I’d love to give him a mug of cocoa. El is a little harder to get a bead on, but I really ended up liking her and relating to her too.

The mytharc is a lot of fun to follow; Marlowe knows how to build up a mystery and leave you gasping for more information. The final twist that brings us answers about Brody’s father is perhaps a hair predictable – but it’s still a worthy conclusion.

But the book lands at an A- because it spends perhaps a little too much time focusing on El’s quarter-life crisis arc. There’s a lot of influencer talk in here, mostly during the first quarter of the book, and if that’s not your bag and you don’t want to deal with it you’ll have to grin and bear it while we get into that juicy mytharc and a lovely romance.

That’s a small wrinkle in what proves to be a truly terrific sci-fi romance. Love at First Sighting is a great piece of work — I had a lot of fun delving into the unknowable with El and Brody, watching them find love. After all, sometimes the greatest mystery in the world stems from the human heart.

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Posted by SB Sarah

This piece of literary mayhem is exclusive to Smart Bitches After Dark, but fret not. If you'd like to join, we'd love to have you!

Have a look at our membership options, and come join the fun!

If you want to have a little extra fun, be a little more yourself, and be part of keeping the site open for everyone in the future, we can’t wait to see you in our new subscription-based section with exclusive content and events.

Everything you’re used to seeing at the Hot Pink Palace that is Smart Bitches Trashy Books will remain free as always, because we remain committed to fostering community among brilliant readers who love romance.

Hard Things

Jan. 7th, 2026 00:02
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
Life is full of things which are hard or tedious or otherwise unpleasant that need doing anyhow. They help make the world go 'round, they improve skills, and they boost your sense of self-respect. But doing them still kinda sucks. It's all the more difficult to do those things when nobody appreciates it. Happily, blogging allows us to share our accomplishments and pat each other on the back.

What are some of the hard things you've done recently? What are some hard things you haven't gotten to yet, but need to do? Is there anything your online friends could do to make your hard things a little easier?

History

Jan. 6th, 2026 23:57
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
Recreating an Ancient Pump (with no moving parts)

This historic pump uses a mixture of flowing water and air bubbles to lift water high above its original level. While not as efficient as some other methods, it has two tremendous advantages: 1) It requires no electricity, fuel, or animal power. 2) With no moving parts, it avoids the problems of wear and clogs that threaten more complex pumps. Given the increasing issue of climate change, there is great value in any useful technology that runs entirely on renewable energy and doesn't need repair or replacement at all often.  

Poem: "Done to Perfection"

Jan. 6th, 2026 20:24
ysabetwordsmith: Damask smiling over their shoulder (polychrome)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
This poem is from today's fishbowl. It was inspired and sponsored by [personal profile] fuzzyred. It belongs to the Pain's Gray thread of the Polychrome Heroics series.


"Done to Perfection"
-- a cinquain


Pain's Gray
bakes French pastries --
beignets and petits fours,
choux à la crème and tartes des Alpes --
exquis.

* * *

Notes:

Read about the cinquain form.

French pastries include beignets, choux à la crème, petits fours, and tartes des Alpes.

exquis
French: delightful, delicious

Poem: "Beneath the Sea"

Jan. 6th, 2026 20:05
ysabetwordsmith: Damask smiling over their shoulder (polychrome)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
This poem is from today's Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired by a prompt from [personal profile] dialecticdreamer. It also fills the "Seas Beneath" square in my 1-6-26 card for the Public Domain Day Bingo fest. This poem has been sponsored by [personal profile] fuzzyred. It belongs to the Kraken and Mercedes threads of the Polychrome Heroics series.


"Beneath the Sea"
-- a hexaduad


Jules reads
job feeds.
Come work beneath the sea!
Stock Cans; room and board free
.
He knows it's good work and good pay,
but should he go or should he stay?
Tides rise and fall,
feelings, sea call.
Beach, a liminal place;
teen, in similar space.
Jules scans the shore,
texts, Tell me more.

* * *

Notes:

Read about the hexaduad form.

[ SECRET POST #6941 ]

Jan. 6th, 2026 18:58
case: (Default)
[personal profile] case posting in [community profile] fandomsecrets

⌈ Secret Post #6941 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


01.


More! )


Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 31 secrets from Secret Submission Post #991.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Science

Jan. 6th, 2026 16:26
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
Nearly all women in STEM secretly feel like impostors

A striking 97.5% of women pursuing graduate degrees in STEM report moderate or higher levels of impostorism.

Nearly all women in STEM graduate programs report feeling like impostors, despite strong evidence of success. This mindset leads many to dismiss their achievements as luck and fear being “found out.” Research links impostorism to worse mental health, higher burnout, and increased thoughts of dropping out. Supportive environments and shifting beliefs about intelligence may help break the cycle
.


That's probably because 97.5% of their male coworkers are misogynistic assholes, and so are a lot of people even outside of STEM.

After decades of being told that girls are bad at math, go play with dolls, harassment as soon as their breasts start growing, male students being put in charge of groups, professors stealing their work, getting lower grades than they deserve, struggling to find a job, their name being left off papers or awards, promotions going to less-qualified males, fighting for funds ... of course women realize that they are aren't wanted, aren't welcome, and nobody likes them.

The last 2.5% of women in STEM? They don't give a shit if people like them, and they aren't there to stroke anyone's ego or penis. Shut up and work. Impostor syndrome? It can be beaten to death with facts.

Birdfeeding

Jan. 6th, 2026 15:24
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith posting in [community profile] birdfeeding
Today is partly cloudy and cool.

I fed the birds.  I've seen a large flock of sparrows.

I put out water for the birds.

EDIT 1/6/26 -- I did a bit of work around the patio.

EDIT 1/6/26 -- I did more work around the patio.

EDIT 1/6/26 -- I did more work around the patio.

As it is getting dark, I am done for the night.

Birdfeeding

Jan. 6th, 2026 15:23
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
Today is partly cloudy and cool.

I fed the birds.  I've seen a large flock of sparrows.

I put out water for the birds.

EDIT 1/6/26 -- I did a bit of work around the patio.

EDIT 1/6/26 -- I did more work around the patio.

EDIT 1/6/26 -- I did more work around the patio.

As it is getting dark, I am done for the night.

 

Nature diary

Jan. 6th, 2026 21:17
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[personal profile] signoftea posting in [community profile] common_nature
It started snowing yesterday, and now there's about 5 cm of snow, an amount that is very rare here. I went for a walk to see the beach, because it looks so cool when it's covered in snow. To my surprise, there was even ice on the water! A fragile crust of little floes had formed and seemed to slow down the movement of the waves as they licked the snow away from the breakwater bit by bit.

At first, I didn't hear any bird calls. I did see a few sanderlings darting around, some big birds (probably black-backed gulls) hovering over the sea, and a huge swarm of smaller birds, but they were all far away. I was about to leave when suddenly an impressive formation of geese appeared in the sky. My birding app identified them as barnacle geese. Then the app recorded some more calls, including one from a dunling, a bird I had never seen or heard before.

The snow and the greyish sky skewed my perspective in interesting ways, so that it looked like there were mountains growing out of the sea near the horizon, or like there was a huge wave rolling towards the beach. It felt surreal and a little eerie.

North Sea beach with snow and ice

Haiku

Jan. 6th, 2026 14:07
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
This is today's freebie, inspired by a prompt from [personal profile] jake67jake.


Maduro kidnapped --
he was quite unpopular,
but it was still wrong



* * *

Notes:

Read a discussion of Venezuela politics.


Poetry Fishbowl Open!

Jan. 6th, 2026 13:11
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
The Poetry Fishbowl is now CLOSED. Thank you all for your time and attention.

Starting now, the Poetry Fishbowl is open! Today's theme is "short forms." I will be checking this page periodically throughout the day. When people make suggestions, I'll pick some and weave them together into a poem ... and then another ... and so on. I'm hoping to get a lot of ideas and a lot of poems.

I'll be soliciting poetic forms of 60 lines or less, so basically below my epic range rather than only the short-short length of 10 lines or less. Free verse below the length limit is also fine. Here are 15 short forms with descriptions. Among my favorite short forms not listed there: hexaduad, indriso, sestina, villanelle. This list of 168 forms is alphabetical. Poets Garrett has my favorite list of forms, including a list of repeating-interlocking forms. Their main page has links to poetic forms of 3-10 lines. Plus a few of my own: A darrow poem is a short, haiku-like musing by dark elves. A khazal is a Whispering Sands desert poem in couplets. A moose track is a repeating-interlocking form. A tweet wire is a tiny 10-line poem designed for Twitter. Some short forms, like haiku and tanka, work well as verses in a longer poem. I have The New Book of Forms by Lewis Turco so most forms should be in there. You can also prompt with a link to any exotic form you find; I collect these things.

In addition to forms, I also need topical prompts. One-word or short-phrase framing will assist in keeping them small enough to fit within the theme. Here is a huge list of common themes. This page of idioms has alphabetical and topical listings. I love writing poems about an individual word; see The Phrontistery (WARNING! Black hole caliber time sink ahead!) for glossaries. Have an orientation that is not well represented in literature? Ask for a sexual, romantic, or other orientation! If it's not on any of my lists, just include a description or link to one. I also list gender identities and my characters with disabilities. Want to help me play with my bookshelf? :D I have The Conflict Thesaurus, The Conflict Thesaurus Volume 2, The Occupation Thesaurus, The Emotional Wound Thesaurus, The Urban Setting Thesaurus, The Rural Setting Thesaurus, The Emotion Thesaurus, The Positive Trait Thesaurus, The Negative Trait Thesaurus, and The Emotion Amplifier Thesaurus. Simply click "Read Sample" and view the table of contents for a list of cool ideas. You can prompt a sestina with six end words; I usually pick 5 short flexible words and one long exotic word, but I'll work with whatever I get. Favorite characters, threads, series, settings, etc. are also fair game but this is NOT the time for long plotty prompts. Consider combining a name or title with a short form, theme, or idiom. If you like to prompt with photos, this is a great opportunity for that. Just type in a topic (see above for possibilities) and click the Image link in your favorite search engine.

Read more... )
rachelmanija: (Books: old)
[personal profile] rachelmanija


Once upon a time, the moon Panga was industrial and capitalist and miserable. Then robots suddenly and inexplicably gained self-awareness. They chose to stop working, leave human habitation, and go into the wilderness. The humans not only didn't try to stop them, but this event somehow precipitated a huge political change. Half of Panga was left to the wilderness, and humans developed a kinder, ecologically friendly, sustainable way of life. But the robots were never seen again.

That's all backstory. When the book opens, Sibling Dex, a nonbinary monk, is dissatisfied with their life for reasons unclear to themself. They leave the monastery to become a traveling tea monk, which is a sort of counselor: you tell the monk your troubles, and the monk listens and fixes you a cup of tea. Dex's first day on the job is hilariously disastrous, but they get better and better, until they're very good at it... but still inexplicably dissatisfied. So they venture out into the wilderness, where they meet a robot, Mosscap - the first human-robot meeting in hundreds of years.

I had previously failed to get very far into The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet, so I was surprised by how much I enjoyed this novella. It's cozy in a good way, with plenty of atmosphere, a world that isn't quite perfect but is definitely one I'd like to live in, and some interesting philosophical exploration. My favorite part was actually Dex's life as a tea monk before they meet Mosscap - it's very relatable if you've ever been a counselor or therapist, from the horrible first day to the pleasure of familiar clients later on. I would absolutely go to a tea monk.

I would have liked Mosscap to be a bit more flawed - it's very lovable and has a lot of interesting things to say, but is pretty much always right. Mosscap is surprised and delighted by humanity, but I'm not sure Dex ever shakes up its worldview in a way it finds true but uncomfortable, which Mosscap repeatedly does to Dex. Maybe in the second novella, A Prayer for the Crown-Shy.

And while I'm on things which are implausibly neat/perfect, this is a puzzling backstory:

1) Robots gain self-awareness and leave.

2) ????

3) PROFIT! Society goes from capitalist hellscape to environmentalist paradise.

Maybe we'll learn more about the ???? later.

But overall, I did quite like the novella. The parts where Dex is a tea monk, with the interactions with their clients and their life in their caravan, are very successfully cozy - an instant comfort read. And I liked the robot society and the religious orders, as well as a lot of the Mosscap/Dex relationship. I'll definitely read the sequel.
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Posted by Amanda

Eliza and the Duke

Eliza and the Duke by Harper St. George is $1.99! This is book two in The Doves of New York series and came out last summer.

American heiress Eliza Dove was resigned to a polite marriage of convenience…until she spent one wicked night with the Duke.

All hopeless romantic Eliza Dove asked for was one night of adventure. One glorious evening of freedom to explore the dark corners of London with a mysterious stranger before a lifetime trapped in a quiet, respectable marriage of convenience. Except now she wants more. Now she wants him.

Simon Cavell is no gentleman. Known only as ‘the Duke,’ Whitechapel’s prize boxer is one fight away from achieving his goal: to safeguard his late sister’s only treasure and leave the streets for good. He cannot allow some pretty young heiress to spill his secrets, no matter how tempting she might be. In return for her silence, Simon will give Eliza a taste of the darkness…and hope he doesn’t lose his heart in the process.

But one night together could never be enough. And now Eliza has a new plan—an even more scandalous bargain that will either land the heiress her duke or ruin them both.

Add to Goodreads To-Read List →

You can find ordering info for this book here.

 

 

 

Out on a Limb

Out on a Limb by Hannah Bonam-Young is $1.99! This is a contemporary romance with a surprise pregnancy after a one night stand. Both of the main characters also have limb differences and I appreciate that being present in the cover art as well.

A hot one-night stand—and an unexpected pregnancy—lead a young woman to someone she can depend on

Winnifred “Win” McNulty has always been wildly independent and not one to be coddled for her limb difference. Win has spent most of her life trying to prove that she can do it all on her own. With some minor adjustments, she’s done just fine.

Hooking up at a costume party with the incredibly charming Bo changes everything. Win finds herself pregnant—and decides to keep the baby. While Bo is surprisingly elated to step up to the plate, Win is unsure of whether she can handle this new challenge.

Together, Win and Bo decide to get to know one another as friends and nothing more while they embark on this parenting journey together. But, as they both should know by now, life rarely goes according to plan.

Add to Goodreads To-Read List →

You can find ordering info for this book here.

 

 

 

Love at First Fright

RECOMMENDED: Love at First Fright by Nadia El-Fassi is $1.99! Lara gave this one a B:

I really enjoyed my time with Rosemary and Ellis. Their love is sweet and spicy and so warm. I enjoyed the ghost element too.

She can see ghosts. He’s haunted by his past. Together they will discover a love that is supernatural.

In this cosy and spicy paranormal romance, a successful horror author whose novel is being adapted into a movie clashes with the actor cast as the male lead, all in a spooky mansion filled with ghosts, from the author of Best Hex Ever

Rosemary Shaw’s ability to see the dead has never scared her. In fact, it’s inspired most of her horror novels, the most successful of which is being adapted into a movie, set in a beautiful manor house in the English countryside. A house that old, well, it’s no surprise there’s ghosts. But ghosts are something Rosemary can handle, she’s not so sure how to deal with her infuriatingly handsome leading man, who is all wrong for the role.

Ellis Finch is a Hollywood heartthrob with a secret. He’s tired of playing the action movie hero and would much rather be gardening with his dog Fig. Starring in a historical horror movie might be just the ticket for his new image, until he finds out that the author tried to get him kicked off the show.

Amidst filming for the movie and the chemistry-filled feuding between Rosemary and Ellis, Hallowvale manor comes alive, literally. Trying to balance the mayhem of her writing deadlines, an adorable ghostly dog and a pair of Regency-era women who are definitely nothing more than friends, Rosemary is at risk of telling Ellis her secret, or worse – falling for him.

Add to Goodreads To-Read List →

You can find ordering info for this book here.

 

 

 

The Footman

The Footman by S.M. LaViolette is $1.99! LaViolette is the other pen name of author Minerva Spencer. I’ve heard good things about this one and have seen it pop into the SBTB comments from time to time.

Lady Elinor wants nothing to do with love. Her arranged marriage—and one glorious but ill-fated kiss with a handsome footman—cured her of any romantic notions she’d ever entertained. Now a widow, all Elinor plans to do is rebuild her life—without a man in it. She certainly has no intention of falling for the charming and entirely too tempting American who seems so determined to win her favor…

Stephen Worth is no longer the impoverished footman who lost everything because of the impulsive actions of a reckless young lady. Having reinvented himself long ago, his sole focus now is revenge. He’ll do whatever it takes to extract a pound of flesh from all who wronged him so long ago. And if that means ruining the lovely Elinor in the process? So be it.

But it’s not long before Elinor finds herself drawn to Stephen despite her best intentions—and before Stephen starts to wonder if maybe a life with Elinor is worth more than his revenge. Can Stephen and Elinor overcome their painful pasts and take a second chance on love? Or is the cost of trust simply more than they’re willing to pay?

Add to Goodreads To-Read List →

You can find ordering info for this book here.

 

 

 

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Posted by Candy

The show poster with shirtless Ilya and Shane in hockey pants and no shirts leaning in and about to kiss each otherWell. It’s been a wild ride, and I’m not just talking Shane on Ilya’s dick. Just over a month ago, Heated Rivalry slammed into our collective ids like a Texas-sized asteroid. To call it a hit might be an understatement. It’s a phenomenon. Before episode 3 aired, The Onion wrote a satirical explainer for it, which is possibly the clearest sign that you’ve arrived.

I have never seen a show of any kind, much less a romance novel adaptation, drive so many straight men to tears. People all across Canada and the US started referring to December 25th (or the 26th, if you were on the East Coast) as Cottage Day.

So this is it. The finale. The culmination of eight years of hookups and heartbreak. Did Jacob Tierney manage to stick the landing?

I mean. Does Shane prefer being the hole?

We start with Scott Hunter’s speech as he wins MVP at the MLH Awards. We flip between seeing him onstage vs. on the TV screen at the Kingfisher, the queer sports bar frequented by Kip and co. His message about the importance of seeing somebody like him exist in the public eye—look, there’s so much that can be said about what coming out means. In our society it’s mostly about making ourselves legible to straight people, especially those of us who can be mistaken as straight or cis. But it’s also about providing other queers with a template, too. Of showing those who are like us: we exist. You’re not alone. You are lovable. You will be loved.

Side note: I wrote the paragraphs above almost immediately after the finale, and then holiday stuff swamped me for basically a week and stopped any meaningful attempts at writing, but during that time I read poet Laura Sackton’s incredible meditation on what it means to communicate queerness: Queer Syntax is Infinite. Reading it provided me with the strange experience of realizing that someone had just pulled all my thoughts about this from my head and expressed it more beautifully than I ever could’ve.

So to crib a phrase from Sackton: queerness makes queerness possible. That’s it, that’s the thesis of this entire show, its beating heart, and it’s palpable as we follow Shane and Ilya to their retreat to the cottage.

We start with a nervous Shane waiting for Ilya in the airport parking lot, and Ilya needles Shane about his car before he even buckles his seatbelt. Hey, man has a King of Shittalk crown to keep. Shane, bless his extremely straightforward socks, falls for it and defends the honor of his car (“It’s reliable! Good in the snow!”).

“Okay,” says Ilya sardonically, thus nuking Shane from orbit with a single word.

When they reach the cottage, Shane very gallantly takes Ilya’s carry-on, because clearly he, a man recovering from a broken collarbone, needs to be solicitous of his guest, a man who had bruised ribs a month ago. Ilya is prickly about this, but let’s be real, he’s probably melting and thinking “my beautiful boring man is treating me like princess uwu.”

Once they’re inside, Shane treats Ilya to a healthy helping of that autistic rizz by extolling the house’s many virtues, including the quality of its tapwater (“I have my own well. You can see it, actually!”). What the hell, Shane! Going on and on about how good the tapwater is our thing. Stop appropriating Portlander culture!

Ilya allows Shane to go on for a while until he asks Ilya if he’s thirsty. That proves to be Ilya’s breaking point, because he is, actually, but for dick. Cue an adorable stumbling makeout scene, during which they flagrantly endanger a lamp, and Shane squashes Ilya on the couch.

Picking up a fifteen-pound suitcase: no, your ribs are too delicate 😠. Supporting 190ish pounds of muscle and bone directly on the ribcage: totally fine, actually 😌.

True to form, they both immediately stick their hands down each other’s pants, and Shane confesses: he’s on a hair trigger, because he’s not slept with anyone else since their last time together (presumably the Boston hookup the day Ilya finds out his father is dead). Ilya confesses the same.

*David Attenborough voice* And here we see an example of mutual dickmatization, a phenomenon not uncommon in a bonded homosexual pair during the earliest stages of courtship. Shane and Ilya are highly unusual in that their courtship has been in progress for eight years—an example of late-onset dickmatization. Quite rare, and a true privilege to witness in the wild.

Shane then bashfully proposes that they hold nothing back during their two-week idyll. Truth and vulnerability; no more hiding in the dark, no more masks. Ilya says he’ll do his best, then pulls their attention back to what’s most important: touching each other’s dicks.

I will do anything if it will make you touch my dick right now.

A close up of shane on the right and ilya below him in the lower left, noses close, smiling at each other.

Shane offers a variety of options for guest bedrooms. Ilya, a certified Cunning Bitch, makes his room requirements more and more specific until he demands a bedroom with an ensuite bathroom; naturally, Shane’s is the only bedroom that fits. Shane takes Ilya there and tells him with insincere regret that the bedroom isn’t available; Ilya immediately manhandles him onto the bed. Shane, finally overcome by the spirit of improv that infects every Tierney set, gasps, “Sir, I’m just a bellhop! You can’t treat the staff this way!”

Ilya’s growled threats about how exactly the staff like to be treated after all these years are alas interrupted by Shane reaching for the remote to lower the privacy shades. But we’re in a new era: Ilya is tired of railing his hockey husband in the dark. Boning in natural light only. He grabs the remote from Shane and flicks it over his shoulder.

What follows is an almost shot-for-shot recreation of their first blowjob, which as far as a narrative device goes is incredibly effective and also designed to drive all us obsessive fans out of our minds. Sunlight and open affection and uncovered windows in Shane’s personal sanctuary, vs. darkness and resentful attraction and the anonymity of a hotel. The Shane from episode 2 who felt nervous and exposed about all the windows in the Las Vegas penthouse is now happy to have sex with his beloved in a house with walls that are 80% glass.

Jacob Tierney, you didn’t need to take a sledgehammer to our feelings in quite this way, but then we weep with gratitude and say “thank you, sir, please may we have another,” so that’s on us, I guess.

We next see the boys on the deck where Shane is very dutifully making eight hamburgers because that’s what the recipe said, okay? Ilya asks him why he didn’t just cut the recipe in half, and Shane doesn’t have a ready answer for him, which proves the stereotypes wrong: not all Asians are good at math, okay! (For the record, I am, or I was back when I took math classes, because I’m an Asian stereotype.)

As they eat their burgers, Ilya asks Shane about his parents; the half-Japanese, half-boring chirp is chefkiss 10/10 and also accurate, sry if it makes u mad Shane. Assorted institutions that catch strays include McGill and the New Yorker (for the second time—also, please, the New Yorker is not the New York Times).

The conversation hits a nerve, however, when Ilya asks Shane whether his parents know he’s gay, and why he hasn’t told them. Shane admits that he probably would’ve told them earlier if not for the fact that the only man he’s seen regularly for the last eight years is Ilya. Ilya points out Shane doesn’t need to provide his parents with a list of the guys he’s fucking, which only goes to show he doesn’t know Asian parents, especially mothers.

Cut to the two boys sitting in front of a bonfire. Ilya asks, incredulously, whether he’s just supposed to look at it. Ilya, babe, as another city kid with zero fascination for fire, I feel you.

But Ilya spoke too soon—his nervous system is plenty excited when he hears the eerie call of a loon and thinks it’s a wolf. It’s an iconic comic moment from the book, and it’s executed flawless in the show as well. Sorry, they’re no longer loons, they’re now officially stupid Canadian wolf birds.

Shane asks Ilya about his family, which leads Ilya to talk about his mother, and he drops an emotional bombshell: his mother died of suicide when he was twelve, and he’d been the one to find her. This scene is one of the most devastating in the episode, rivaling the Russian monologue in the underpass: Ilya with his head on Shane’s lap, the planes of his face thrown into relief by firelight, expression stiff and masklike. His voice is dreamy and distant and sad.

Well. If I ever need to think about something that reliably makes me cry, I now have it!

We cut to morning, to the two of them asleep in the same bed for the first time. Ilya in repose looks like an especially gorgeous Cupid—not the fat baby with wings, but the god who drives Psyche to perform impossible tasks to regain his love.

Ilya says, with sleepy affection, “I like you.” Shane says “I like you, too.” This moment—the first sincere declaration between the two of them in a mutually intelligible language with no attempts at denial or hedging—is probably responsible for, bare minimum, twenty different angels getting their wings.

Impossibly pretty man likes other impossibly pretty man
A close up of Ilya's face half illuminated by sunshine as he looks at Shane, whose head is on his shoulder, and says I like you

We move to the couch, where Shane and Ilya are playing a hockey video game; Ilya, naturally, picks the Metros, because he’s King Hater. Shane picks the Raiders and states his intention of destroying Ilya.

“I am you,” Ilya reminds him.

“Well, you’re not anything,” Shane shoots back.

“I’m on the cover of the fucking game!” Ilya retorts while holding the cover of the game to his face, proving that one can be a king and queen at the same time.

And then the phone buzzes. Oh look, it’s Hayden! Shane takes the call because he’s a good friend who wants to check in with his best friend about his new baby. This leaves Ilya at loose ends, and you can absolutely trust him to be able to sit for five whole minutes to let Shane to talk in peace.

Hahaha. Hahahahahahaha. Like fuck you can. Ilya immediately enters chaotic bisexual mode and starts grabbing for Shane’s dick. Shane smacks Ilya away as if he’s an exceptionally large, exceptionally beautiful mosquito. This doesn’t deter Ilya in the least.

Raise your hand if you’re evil and bisexual and a menace to society
A screengrab of Ilya looking at Shane who is on the phone. Ilya is looking at him under low brows and with a vague pout, and the caption from Fiona says raise your hand if your evil and bisexual and a menace to society

Shane pauses the call (the way I sweated over his trust of the mute button) and makes a fool’s bargain with Ilya: if his dick gets hard, Ilya gets to do whatever he wants. Shane states, with the false confidence of the damned, that he won’t get hard.

He of course gets hard. Almost immediately.

What ensues is a disaster of a conversation, in which Ilya gives Shane the sloppiest, loudest blowjob of all time while slapping Shane in the face and trying to stick his fingers in his mouth. Shane saves the situation by doing an absolutely wretched job of sounding normal.

If I were Hayden, I would’ve been like, hey buddy, you at a hot dog eating competition or something? Or are you trying to plunge your toilet there? Why are you spanking wet bread dough over and over again? Those are some concerningly weird noises, bro.

Ilya taking a little slap and tickle extremely literally
Ilya is on his knees in front of Shane going down on him while Shane is on the phone. Ilya reaches up and lightly slaps Shane's face, while Shane pushes his arm away

Ilya makes Shane come; Shane places way too much faith in the phone mute button again, and then fobs Hayden off with an unconvincing line about needing to answer the door for an Amazon delivery driver. Brohams, it’s Amazon, they drop the package off on your porch. They don’t need concierge service. But comedy transitions into a tender moment: after Shane hangs up, he immediately pounces on Ilya and wonders why that was so hot. Ilya replies with “Because you like being bad,” before shutting up in mortification because he’s realized what a horrible self-own that is.

Shane, seeing Ilya’s expression, immediately reassures him: that’s not what they have. Not for a long time.

This is the exact polar opposite of the girls are fighting. The boys are…talking? Reaching an understanding? Being so sweet to each other that I’m gnawing on drywall?

We next see the boys kicking a soccer ball around outside because this show doesn’t have the budget to show us Shane’s fancy custom gym complete with practice rink that we get in the books. Ilya points out that he’s going to be a free agent next year, which means he can sign up with a different team. Maybe a Canadian team. Apply for Canadian citizenship so he’s not restricted to a Russian passport. Just, you know. Just musing out loud here.

And then it’s nighttime. They’re looking at their phones while sitting across from each other on the couch with legs outstretched. It’s a posture reminiscent of the gym scene from the beginning of episode 1—except this time their feet are touching.

And, look. I’m not a feet guy. I’m not, like, repulsed by them, but I’m no Quentin Tarantino. So when I say that this is THE cutest toe touches of all time, please take it with the seriousness it deserves. This is the good shit. The uncut stuff. These toe touches have everything: affection, quiet domesticity, assurance, comfort in each other’s presence, and also Ilya bringing up a green card marriage with Svetlana out of fucking nowhere wait what the fuck?

Bill Hader as Stefon on SNL with his hands over his mouth looking shocked

Shane, who is the most wholesome man on God’s green earth, asks Ilya why he wouldn’t marry a woman he’s actually in love with. The fear and uncertainty on his face: heartbreaking. The tears that have welled up in his eyes: making me sob like a little baby. Because what Shane’s actually asking Ilya is: why won’t you make your life easier? Find a girl, fall in love, marry. He has the option to do this while remaining true to himself in a way that Shane doesn’t.

Ilya answers in the most Ilya way imaginable. He rhapsodizes about the gorgeous and sexy women he’s surrounded by—women he enjoys, who enjoy him right back. Except he has a problem: he can’t get over a slow, boring hockey player with beautiful freckles and a weak backhand.

At that last, the other shoe finally drops for Shane, and he smiles. “Do you want that problem to go away?”

No, it turns out. Ilya never wants that problem to go away.

Shane, it turns out, is truly Yuna Hollander’s son, because he stays up thinking deep into the night while Ilya sleeps next to him, until he hits upon a plan. He wakes up Ilya and proceeds to lay out a detailed scheme: Ilya transfers to Ottawa to be closer to Montreal, and they start a charity together. Change the narrative (“what is narrative?” asks an adorable sleepy Ilya, and never have I wanted to swaddle a big-ass grown-ass man in cotton batting more) so that when they’re seen in public or spend a lot of time in the summer together, nobody would bat an eye. And then, eventually, when they retire—they can be together.

Ilya asks Shane, a little incredulously, if he’s really thinking this far ahead. Shane responds: Yeah. For this, he does.

Overcome by his love for autistic hyperfixation, Ilya finally does it: he says “I love you” to Shane—first in Russian, and then again in English.

Shane, shocked, responds with “Holy shit.” Ilya, taken aback, attempts to backtrack and begins to say “I mean—” but before he has a chance to come up with plausible cover, Shane says “I love you” right back.

Does it fucking kill you, too?
Shane holds Ilya very close under his chin with his hands in Ilya's hair
Not anymore

Sunrise. Ilya sits by the lake when Shane approaches with a blanket and coffee. It’s a beautiful mirror of the Tampa Bay scene: same gorgeous orange light, and they’re both sitting by a body of water, but instead of barely daring to touch fingertips in the sand, they’re cuddled up to each other. The landscape shots here (and throughout the episode) are warm-tinted and gauzy—ethereal, even. The sparkles on the water and the sun through the leaves are exaggerated; every shot feels like a beloved old photo, thumbed through a thousand times and a little sun-faded. It has the effect of making these moments feel outside of time. Magical.

We transition to the two boys making love, bathed in more gorgeous light. After, while they’re cuddling, Shane suggests that they name their charity foundation after Ilya’s mother Irina, and donate their proceeds to mental health causes.

Overcome once again, this time by his other weakness, terminal sincerity, Ilya kisses Shane and tells him his mother would’ve loved Shane the way Ilya loves Shane. And then, at Shane’s request, he demonstrates how to say “I love you” in Russian.

It would be inaccurate to say I’m crying again, because that presumes I’ve stopped ever since the green card marriage conversation.

We move on to a different day. The boys frolic at the lake; Shane grumps at Ilya for getting him wet (lol) because what if his phone had been in his pocket? Ilya mentions, in a non-ominous way, that his phone is on the table (which table? Oh, you know. Table) and has been ringing all morning.

As they make their way back up to the cottage, the camera shows an Ominous Silhouette in the kitchen. The boys, unaware of the unwanted visitor, kiss each other right against the glass sliding door.

And then Jason Voorhees emerges from the dark depths of the kitchen and kills our boys. Surprise, this was actually sneak entry in the Friday the Thirteenth franchise. Look, he’s wearing a hockey mask and everything!

I’m kidding! It’s actually Shane’s dad, who’d forgotten his charger at the cottage (lol) and instead of going into town and buying a replacement he moseys on up to his son’s silent retreat and gets an eyeful. OOPS. Overwhelmed by the sheer magnificence of Ilya Rozanov’s naked titties, he turns tail and drives off.

Shane melts down. He’s been lying to his parents all these years—and holy shit, his mother is going to know he’s gay now. His mother is going to know he’s gay and fucking Ilya Rozanov, which might be the one unforgivable crime for the Metros superfan who is Yuna Hollander. He repeats, over and over, that this is his nightmare. Genuinely he might’ve preferred being machete murdered by Jason over this.

Ilya proves to be a rock. He comforts Shane, shakes him a little and tells him maybe it’s time to wake up, and then hugs him and tells him he’s brave. If you want to torture yourself a little (and by little I mean a lot), contemplate how baby Ilya at various times was alone and terrified and wished there was somebody who could hold him and tell him everything would be okay, but had nobody except maybe sometimes Svetlana.

You’re welcome 😊.

They head over to Shane’s parents’ house together. Ilya, in yet another king move, wears a Boston Raiders t-shirt.

Show Spoiler
Ilya is wearing a black tshirts that says RAIDERS Boston Hockey esp 1924 he looks down at his shirt and says Oh they don't know I play for Boston?

When Shane suggests that maybe Ilya should stay in the car when they reach his parents’ house, he’s treated to the most bombastic Ilya eyebrows yet. Truly, it took the power of exasperated love to unlock their full power.

Shane then announces himself in a totally normal and not-at-all awkward way as he walks in the door—“Hi, it’s me, Shane.” You know. Just in case his parents forgot the name of their one and only child, who also happens to be a superstar hockey captain. And then Shane and Ilya proceed to stand exactly like the “mom, I frew up” meme.

A still showing Shane's parents facing away on either side of the frame, with ilya and shane in the middle facing them, standing close together. Ilya has his hands folded in front of him like he's about to be scolded and shane has his hands by his sides

Comic moments and postures aside, there’s something heartbreaking about how stiff and formal they are in the moment—if you look at Ilya’s face, it’s basically the dissociating-so-hard-I’m-in-outer-space expression he has in episode 2, post-Sochi Olympics loss.

It’s Ilya’s “shit’s about to go down with parents” face, and that sure does make me feel some kind of way!

Yuna and David are understandably confused—Yuna possibly even more confused than David, because it’s not entirely clear that David has told Yuna anything yet. Shane announces that he’s gay, and then attempts to explain Ilya before settling on “I love him,” which only makes Yuna, certified Boston Raiders Hater™, look even more concerned. (Ilya offering up “lovers” as a word to describe what they are and Shane’s immediate, viscerally disgusted reaction is so funny and again, a little sad, because Ilya is trying, okay, that’s the correct word in Russian!)

They sit down at the table as Yuna and David attempt to untangle timelines. They’ve suspected that Shane might be gay for a while (foreshadowed by the episode 4 “Swedish princess? Really?” exchange between David and Yuna at the restaurant) but the love affair with Ilya has clearly come out of left field—ha ha baseball metaphor in hockey show.

Side note: it’s absolutely hilarious that Ilya achieves first name-basis with them seven years faster than he manages with their son, whom he’s been fucking almost this entire time.

Anyway, the conversation that follows has resulted in two god-tier edits: this edit set to the Wii hold music (love that the Garak and Bashir first meeting video has turned this into a legit genre), and this gifset that somehow conveys the exact same vibe without the music.

Yuna asks Shane if he’s ever done the worst thing she can conceive of: letting Ilya win. Shane shoots back with whether she’s ever allowed David to win at cards; her immediate “I’d rather die” is 10/10, no notes. Way to put it in terms your mom can understand, Shane!

Talk turns to their long-term plan for their relationship; when Ilya and Shane admit that they basically plan to keep their love for each other in the dark until they retire, Yuna exclaims “But no, that’s sad,” which gets across a fact that’s been obscured by their cottage getaway: the boys are in love and are able to openly acknowledge that love between themselves, and with a small, select group of people, but they don’t have what Scott and Kip have. They’re no longer trapped in the closet, but they’re still lingering in the shadows.

David, like many boomer parents, is confused by bisexuality, and brings up Ilya’s reputation as a womanizer. Ilya, immodest beast that he is, acknowledges that yeah he’s got game, but also he’s only ever been in love with one person. Shane says the same, and we get a reprise of the shoe taps from episode 1. The context is different, but they’re once again answering difficult questions under uncomfortable circumstances, and in all the ways that matter, they have each other’s backs.

Shoe taps pt 2

Yuna, overwhelmed, gets up and goes outside. Shane follows her out.

“I need you to know that I did really try,” he tells her, his face stiff with repressed emotion. “I tried really hard, but um. I just really can’t help it. I’m sorry.”

Yuna is immediately horrified and tells him Shane he has nothing to apologize for. In fact, she apologizes to Shane for making him feel as if he couldn’t tell her the truth. She tells him she’s proud of him, and asks him for forgiveness; Shane forgives her. They both tearfully say they love each other.

Anyway, I guess having a break from crying for about fifteen minutes was pretty nice! Good thing I was wearing a really absorbent cardigan with extra-long sleeves while watching! This scene is for all the people out there who’ve all their lives wanted approval AND an apology from their parents but are never going to get either; ha ha ha this definitely didn’t completely flatten me while simultaneously providing me with vicarious catharsis or anything.

When they return inside, they sit down for a pasta lunch while Yuna re-enters manager mode (bless). She’s talking brand deals, messaging, Rolex, Reebok, pow pow pow—and Shane has to tell her to cool her jets because he’s not ready to come out yet much less talk to fuckin’ Speedo or whatever, Jesus Christ, slow down Yuna.

You know who’s not slowing down, though? Ilya. Not with pasta on the table, baby! He eats like an absolute beast, and it is truly one of the best background comic moments of the whole show, right up there with how Shane says “bye bye” in episode 5 while concussed and high off his ass.

Ilya eating pasta is an icon, please somebody cast this in bronze somewhere

Another great comic moment: when Yuna asks Ilya whether he’d really leave Boston for Shane; never has the implied “you whore” been more loudly left unsaid. Loving her son enough to leave his team and move to a different country is all well and good, but where’s the loyalty to the team that’s drafted you, Ilya, you traitorous slut!!! Ilya is completely unoffended by this.

In fact, Ilya is taking all of this in stride, because listen: nobody is being arrested. Nobody is threatening to forcibly out anyone. Shane is not being disowned. What Ilya sees, basically, is an emotionally difficult moment with fundamentally supportive parents who want nothing but the best for their son, even when their son shocks them and hurts them, or does things they disapprove of.

The emotional stakes are fundamentally different for Ilya—not just because these aren’t his parents he’s having to come out to, but because of his existing family dynamics. Disappointing his parents (well, his father) was the default state when his father was still alive; the best Ilya could ever achieve with him was “well, at least you didn’t fuck up this time.” Coming out to his father has never been an option, which is why his wish in episode 5 that his father could have truly known him cuts so deep: not only is it impossible in death, it would have been impossible in life, too. There’s no possible closure for that kind of grief.

And now here’s Shane, with parents who love him and are manifestly proud of him, and who are all-in on supporting him, no matter what. They don’t approve of Ilya? Get in line! That’s his operating assumption, baby!

When the talk turns to Ilya checking in with Scott Hunter post-coming out, Shane slowly slumps until his forehead hits the table. He’s fine! He’s just freaking out. Just needs some chill forehead-on-table time.

Ilya immediately enters gentle dom mode and talks him down—puts a soothing hand on the back of his neck, reminds him that he’s safe, that his family is there, and his boyfriend.

At the word “boyfriend,” Shane raises his head. Boyfriend??

“I mean, yes, I think, probably,” Ilya replies. Everybody applaud: this bozo has finally successfully asked Shane to be his boyfriend, and he did it backwards and while he was having a panic attack. He gets an A, not just for his effort, but for the sheer number of attempts.

As Shane and Ilya finally leave Shane’s parents’ house, the sense of hope is palpable. The Hollanders are heading over to the cottage for dinner, presumably to talk about the future and to get to know Ilya better. There are multiple emphatic please text before coming over reminders, and I love yous.

And then the credits roll.

Y’all. It’s the best end credits I’ve seen for any TV show. Possibly the best end credits I’ve ever seen, full stop. It’s just the two boys driving off into the afternoon, awash in the most incredible golden light, chatting and holding hands and crying and laughing together, while “Bad Things” by Cailin Russo plays, but it’s more than that. They’ve been through so much; they’ve known each other for so long. They’re finally here, together, secure in their love, with the future unfurling like a golden banner before them.

The last shot we see has Shane and Ilya forming the shape of a heart on the screen. (Hilarious bonus: it looks like Shane is yelling out the logo of Accent Aigu Entertainment.)

Ilya and Shane in a car from behind, their bodies and Shane's arm forming a heart around them. Shane has his mouth wide open and the words Accent AIgu Entertainment are comin out of his mouth

What an incredible end to an incredible show.

So that’s it. That’s Heated Rivalry. Hands-down the best romance novel adaptation I’ve ever seen; easily my favorite TV show of 2025; possibly my favorite TV show of all time. I’m already counting the days until season 2 drops.

It feels hyperbolic to say that this show has changed me and how I view TV, but it has. When I heard Heated Rivalry was getting adapted, my immediate thought was “okay wow somebody decided to do this on hard mode.”

And I was right, because I think the show never takes the easy way out—not for anything that counts. And by paying so much attention to so many things, they’ve shown us what’s possible. Yes, you can adapt a romance novel, one that’s intensely internal and focused on the sex, and it’ll be good because it sticks to the romance beats and romance structure. Yes, you can communicate internal states on film if you’re clever with the camera, and also hire world-class actors who put in the work. And yes, on-screen sex scenes can feel intimate and passionate and immediate and real without ever showing us the genitals, because what makes the sex hot, especially in a romance, isn’t the mechanics, but what the sex signifies. Yearning, connection, intimacy. Character growth. Love.

Heated Rivalry has set the bar incredibly high for romance adaptations, and has proven that a romance story, told well, has immense appeal. Let’s hope we get more that are this good.

Mama MIA!

Jan. 6th, 2026 14:00
[syndicated profile] cakewrecks_feed

Posted by Jen

Tabitha G. ordered a Mario cake for her five-year-old's birthday party.

You know Mario, right?

Yeah. This guy.

 

And that's when things went horribly, hilariously wrong:

"Did-a somebody call-a a plumber?" [eyebrow waggle]

 

No, no, take a moment. Soak it alllll in. The leather biker hat. The earring. The collar. The nipple and gratuitous chest hair. Oh yeah, and the fact that his lower half is on backwards. (Why? WHY??)

How did this happen? Why does this art even exist? And seriously, what the heck is going on with that front butt?

The world may never know.

We DO know the bakery replaced The Village Mario here with a free Spongebob cake, though.

So Tabitha, just one question:

Was SpongeBob wearing a gimp suit? :D

*****

P.S. Have you played with Perler Beads? Those are the plastic pellets you iron together to make coasters or ornaments or hair bows or whatnot - and there's a Super Mario set!

Perler Bucket Activity Kit


This set comes with the pegboard, patterns, ironing sheet, and of course all the beads you need to make at least 11 different designs. Here's a pic from the reviews, aren't they great?

This is a perfect craft for kids AND adults. Hit the link up there to see several more design kits, including Star Wars and Harry Potter.

******

And from my other blog, Epbot:

[syndicated profile] smartbitches_feed

Posted by Amanda

This HaBO request is from Donna, who wants to find this romance:

I need a refresh about a romance novel. Note: I have no time frame of publication.

The couple have a passionate and tumultuous relationship. They have their first child, a boy, who can’t sleep and only cries.

They don’t know why.

Someone asks what are they doing differently.

They swore to never fight in front of the kid.

What?!

He’s heard you arguing from the moment he grew ears! And now you’ve gone all pacific on him? Of course he can’t sleep! Something’s wrong with his parents.

So they start fighting again and baby’s happily dead to the world.

Let’s HaBO!

May 2024

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