Brains can be so ridiculous.
Jun. 13th, 2022 14:37![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dantesspiritWoke up this morning, from a particularly bad dream and spent a good 20 minutes just hugging the cats.
In the dream, we had gone on vacation, while we were gone, the farmland around us was sold to some mass producing farmer type person who wanted to 'return the land to pristine, sustainable farming, or some such buzzwords.
On paper and in the odd news broadcast I watched in said dream about it, it looked good. It looked green and growing.
In reality, when I got home, not so much. Everything had been stripped and was covered in an iron oxide red looking soil- not unusual here, as we have a high iron oxide containing soil hereabouts- but as I walked up the freshly graded drive, thinking, 'this is nice and smooth for once' (why it was only me, why I was walking, no idea, dreams don't always make sense).
Then the house next door came into view and huh, they'd removed the front porch, bricked up the front door, painted everything a flat beige and oh, most of the smaller trees and bushes are gone...
Wait. Wtf happened to my house.
The front porch was gone- cement slabs stacked to one side. Roof and all. The back porch was gone, the carport, the garden, all of the trees, all of our plants, everything was gone. The house was beige. Everything was iron oxide red dirt and flat as flat can be.
Everything. Was. Gone. Only the house itself remained.
In the dream, I start panicking. I go inside. It's empty of our belongings. The cats are missing.
I call the police (yeah, right.) Some how, someone made a 'mistake' and thought *our property* was a part of the land sale.
Our belongings and pets were gone and no one knew where they'd been taken.
It was then I forced myself to wake up and soundly cursed out my subconscious, as I reached up over my head, to scritch Morrigan, stretched out in the window above the bed. Then I got out of bed, found Mischief, hugged her until she protested, found Mayhem and hugged him until he growled at me. (In the dream, Leo had been with me.)
I wanted to cry. I never wanted to leave the house again. I walked around, reassuring myself that *everything was still here, all the trees were still there, nothing had disappeared overnight*. It was a rough few hours.
I'd gone through the loss of home, belongings and pets once before. I didn't need to relive, in some aspect, that loss ever again.
I'm finding myself checking on the cats every few hours. They're still here, they haven't gone anywhere. But still I check.
Brains are ridiculous sometimes.
In the dream, we had gone on vacation, while we were gone, the farmland around us was sold to some mass producing farmer type person who wanted to 'return the land to pristine, sustainable farming, or some such buzzwords.
On paper and in the odd news broadcast I watched in said dream about it, it looked good. It looked green and growing.
In reality, when I got home, not so much. Everything had been stripped and was covered in an iron oxide red looking soil- not unusual here, as we have a high iron oxide containing soil hereabouts- but as I walked up the freshly graded drive, thinking, 'this is nice and smooth for once' (why it was only me, why I was walking, no idea, dreams don't always make sense).
Then the house next door came into view and huh, they'd removed the front porch, bricked up the front door, painted everything a flat beige and oh, most of the smaller trees and bushes are gone...
Wait. Wtf happened to my house.
The front porch was gone- cement slabs stacked to one side. Roof and all. The back porch was gone, the carport, the garden, all of the trees, all of our plants, everything was gone. The house was beige. Everything was iron oxide red dirt and flat as flat can be.
Everything. Was. Gone. Only the house itself remained.
In the dream, I start panicking. I go inside. It's empty of our belongings. The cats are missing.
I call the police (yeah, right.) Some how, someone made a 'mistake' and thought *our property* was a part of the land sale.
Our belongings and pets were gone and no one knew where they'd been taken.
It was then I forced myself to wake up and soundly cursed out my subconscious, as I reached up over my head, to scritch Morrigan, stretched out in the window above the bed. Then I got out of bed, found Mischief, hugged her until she protested, found Mayhem and hugged him until he growled at me. (In the dream, Leo had been with me.)
I wanted to cry. I never wanted to leave the house again. I walked around, reassuring myself that *everything was still here, all the trees were still there, nothing had disappeared overnight*. It was a rough few hours.
I'd gone through the loss of home, belongings and pets once before. I didn't need to relive, in some aspect, that loss ever again.
I'm finding myself checking on the cats every few hours. They're still here, they haven't gone anywhere. But still I check.
Brains are ridiculous sometimes.
(no subject)
Date: 2022-06-14 12:06 (UTC)Brains can be the worst! They wait until you are safely sleeping and then pull 'what if' games inside your brain box to 'entertain' you. Part of the worst thing about it is - how do you -punish- your brain? It's not like you can reach in and give it a good swat ... although a Covid test comes close.
(no subject)
Date: 2022-06-14 16:39 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2022-07-14 13:09 (UTC)*hugs*